She Laughs at the Days

I keep wanting to put cool links in the text of my posts to other people and other posts like everyone else, but I can't figure it out. I suddenly feel like a total computer moron. Can anyone help me out.

On a brighter note, I am figuring out how to post pictures, though it can't possibly be as time consuming for everyone else so I suspect I have a lot more to learn. But in celebration of my new found skills here are some fairly recent pictures of my kids for you to enjoy while I GO and learn HTML somehow.




Yes the expression is a little bit vacant, the smiling ones are blurry.



This is the boy in his gi all excited about his Judo class.

I don’t care how patient you think you are. Try standing outside of a bathroom door at 8:30 at night waiting for the child who is supposed to be asleep already to finish pooping, while you are bone tired, and a little bit nauseous. She sits, she pushes, she yells, “Mommy, come yook at me.” should you happen to wander out of her line of vision. She says in a confidential tone, "Mommy some girls go poo.." She gets off of the toilet, bends over to get wiped then announces that she has more and climbs back onto the toilet.
She sits, she pushes, she yells, she gets off, I wipe her, oh she’s still not done, she climbs back on again.
She sits, she pushes, (It’s starting to get very stinky) she yells, she gets off, I wipe her, she’s still not done, she climbs back on again.
4 times
5 times
6 times….

She has done this every night for the last three. Two nights ago, after the poop was all done, she insisted she needed to pee again, so I let her try. Nothing.
I take her down and she screams “…

1.) Are you finished going poo?
2.) Did you wipe your bum?
3.) Go wipe your bum.
4.) Did you wash your hands?
5.) Go wash your hands.
6.) Eat your food.
7.) That’s what’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack. You don’t have to eat it but you don’t get anything else until you do.
8.) It’s time to pick up your Lego.
9.) Leave your sister alone!
10.) Stop that.
11.) Come here now!
12.) Good job!
13.) Not now.
14.) Put your jammies away.
15.) Put your plate in the sink.
16.) (As they announce their need to use the toilet) Okay, go fast.
17.) No it’s not snack time yet.
18.) I said no.
19.) No we’re not going to Beema’s house today. (Except on Fridays.)
20.) Because I said so.
21.) Obey Mommy fast.
22.) Go get some clothes on.
23.) Not until you have your clothes on.
24.) Bath time.
25.) Okay, go get your diaper and jammies.
26.) Put your diaper on.
27.) Put your jammies on.
28.) Get your toothbrush.
29.) Because it’s bedtime.
30.) I love you.

The new number one reason that I will follow almost all of my mother in law’s parenting advice without question, or without too many any way, happened today at around 5:30.
Freed from the need to wait for the Boy to arrive from his Judo class by the early arrival of the Genius Husband, I went for a walk to the store with the Girl to get salad dressing to go with dinner, because I love Brianna’s Asiago Ceaser dressing with lime juice and pepper on my romaine lettuce, and so does everyone else in my family, there is never any of this salad left, ever. And sometimes I don’t even get seconds, but I digress.

While I was gone, the Boy returned and his aunts and uncles with him. At the instigation of his 13 year old aunt, the 11 year old uncle and the 14 year old uncle voluntarily pitched in with the Boy to CLEAN MY HOUSE. These tweens, (I hate that word) picked up everything and put it away, vacuumed, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, cleared and wiped the table, help…

I have had a lot of conversations recently with the boy about how he ought to be thankful for his food, even if it’s not exactly what he wanted. I have tried to get him to imagine that he is one of the boys in the world who is truly starving and how would he feel then if someone gave him some yummy lentil soup to eat for dinner, he insists he still wouldn’t eat it. Thank God my child has never experienced true hunger and therefore can’t imagine it. But it’s frustrating that he is not more thankful for the things that he has.

We have talked about how he ought not to eat all of the raisins that we have left in the cupboard because now there are none to go in granola or banana muffins until mommy can go shopping again. I often allow these things to go un-purchased for a significant length of time, long enough for him to feel some of the pain that he has caused himself.

We also discuss that it is wrong to waste food because that takes away from what other people can have both immediately an…

Sorry I haven’t written at all this week, I’ve been kind of obsessed with keeping the contents of my stomach from emptying themselves all over the place. This is a daily, hourly obsession that will be with me for at least another month and it is one of the least pleasant things I have ever had to live through. (Someone please tell me why I’m doing this again?)

I have low blood sugar, which tends to amplify the regular morning sickness to extreme levels of discomfort. I have to keep my stomach full, at all times, or I am overcome with unbearable queasiness. The sensation of hunger is indistinguishable from the sensation of nausea these days. The regular salivatory functions of my mouth in anticipation of a first bite of food go hand in hand with an ominous flip flopping in my stomach that is either the start of normal digestive processes or the onset of a summary rejection of all things I’ve consumed until now. (Excuse me, I have to go and sit very still for a while and maybe suck on a …

When I was a child I remember trying to do things for my mother for Mother’s Day. I remember all of the cheesy crafts I would make for her; I think she actually liked them. I remember attempts to serve her breakfast in bed, largely unsuccessful because my dad can’t cook and I hadn’t yet learned. I specifically remember taking the very last egg we had in the fridge and trying to poach it, but ending up with this little soggy yellow lump on a plate because I didn’t know about vinegar. And I remember all of the times we reluctantly tried to clean up the house because we knew she would like it. Our efforts were often pathetic, and I’m sure at times disappointing but I think the thought was appreciated for the most part, she was after all our mother.

I have very little expectation for my version of mother’s day. It keeps me from getting disappointed and is a good deal more realistic. It’s good that I wasn’t expecting anything because this is how my day has gone so far. The Girl woke up and …

I have three children, though one of them is not born yet. I was just thinking about how different things were with the second child than the first.

1.) The second time, I pushed my own baby out, in the safety of my home without the horrors of a hospital transfer, induction, and caesarian. I had learned to trust my body, and that it was I, not my caregivers, who was responsible for getting this child out safely. I took full responsibility for the birth of my child and didn’t once think of handing it to someone else.
2.) The second time it didn’t matter nearly as much if the Girl was diapered or even clothed in her first few weeks of life, she was almost always naked and swaddled in a blanket or next to me in bed. I became addicted to her skin, I still am.
3.) The second time, strangely, I was in less of a hurry to get her out of my bed and get her off of my breast. The Boy weaned himself at 16 months, he just forgot, she is still nursing at 27 months, though I’m trying to gradually bring…

I hate not fighting with people. I like living together with people in harmony and the daily interactions of people who misunderstand, take the time to explain, come to a place of understanding or apology and carry on together on this adventure we call life. But I hate not fighting with people when something is wrong.

I’m the kind of person who is not at all reserved usually. Part of my process in becoming a grown-up has been to learn not to say every thing that comes to mind out loud to whoever is in earshot, not to give my opinion on EVERYTHING, and to realize that not everyone thinks my stories are as vastly entertaining as I do. (Except in the blogosphere, this place is perfect for me.) So I am puzzled by those who avoid confrontation, or don’t choose to tell someone who has offended them how they have been offended, or who don’t say anything to the person who has done wrong but talk to others about that person’s foul-up, I hate living in that sort of below the surface tension wher…

There is much that I would like to write about today, like sullen four-year olds, I thought I had until they were teens for that to happen, and how sweet little girls who forgot to put their pants back on after going potty look standing on their tiptoes to turn on a light switch with their little naked legs all extended. But I have no time, I have to sew a pirate blouse, and a peasant shirt, and several masks.

My genius husband's little sister is 13. Thirteen is the big party year where the kids can actually invite friends and go all out for a party. It is the coming of age party, and we are invited. (Hey they had 8 kids, of course you don't get a big birthday party every year, just having the family assembled is quite enough people, though you do get to choose your birthday dinner, go to breakfast with dad, and it's quite the big deal.)

This is the fun part, she's decided to have a masquerade ball, costumes and masks required. It's in three days. The Girl is taken c…

As my children get older this parenting gig is starting to give me a little more breathing room. They play together for long periods without fighting, and without needing me to be right there all the time. I spend most of my time with them reading out loud, making three meals and as many snacks for them to inhale, and supervising cleanup. Occasionally I have to break up a fight. This leaves me with several moments of the day when I can begin to see that I may actually get to things I’ve been ignoring for several years now. All this is just in time of course for me to find out that there is another on the way and I will soon be back in the thick of diapers and breast feeding, not that I’m quite done with either of those at this point, and sleepless nights. I appreciate the perspective that this time is giving me though. I now know that there does come a time when it gets easier to be a mom, and when the routine changes, and when things slow down in a way, and I can look forward to it t…