She Laughs at the Days

1. I just realized that by nature the quick takes implies that one has a head just busting full of ideas and needs a quick way to present them. This may be why it takes me so long to write a quick takes post as my head is often busting, but not always with ideas or interesting thoughts. If I could write an itemized to do list of all things mundane and less so that I currently have looming over me it would be very easy to do. Perhaps I shall start my own blog meme. It will be very boring. I'll call it, 7 things you should really be doing right now instead of blogging. Procrastinate some more by telling us about it.

This is the essence of almost all of my phone calls with my mother. At least the last half of the call is taken up with her telling me that she really needs to run she has so much to do, and then describing to me in minute detail her to do list. I'm afraid I'm starting to do the same thing.

And then there is the Boy. Today he wrote a story. A little 5 sentence stor…

Sometimes it really hard to remember to be thankful. One or two things that are hard to deal with will shout so loudly that they can drown out all the other voices. Like a child who has been told no to another ice cream after a long day packed with fun, and sobs until bedtime like her life is a tragedy, I too can let the minor disappointments, the bumps and the bruises, ruin my good time. I recently read a blogger who wrote about how hard she was finding it to be the parent of two small children. It's honest writing, and skillfully done, but she does tend to focus on the negative aspects of her life right now in her writing more than anything else. Her response to a reader who commented on the over whelming negativity was to say that she's just being honest, that she can't be expected to write about rainbows and unicorns all the time, that she won't pretend that everything is fine when it isn't.

It's a common misconception to think that to cultivate gratitude me…

So my dad is in town for a few days, and we're cramming as much fun as is possible into them. Including a baby dedication for Little at church on Sunday. Usually these things are done when they are, well, babies. But we like to mix things up around here and wait until they are two. No, actually we were looking for a time when one or two of my side of the family would be around, and then we forgot, and then we remembered and scheduled it and then realized he would be here at the same time. Which is super cool.

And then on Sunday evening some really good friends are detouring on their trip to Disneyland to come and see us for a while. I talked a lot about Sea World, and the San Diego Zoo, and Legoland, and the Wild Animal Park, and the world class beaches and museums and attractions when I begged them to come. So I think it's really nice of them to spend a few days of their Califonia vacation just spending it with boring old us, looking at beaches and aquariums and exotic animals…

I'm standing near to the playground with a few other moms chatting.

"When my daughters are 14," says the mother of two beautiful little girls, "I'm getting them put on birth control right away. I don't want them coming home pregnant when they are 15 with some pot head boyfriend as the father."

"Yeah," says the 23 year old mother of four, "I just tell mine that you're mother is very fertile, if you have sex you're probably going to get pregnant, that's how the women in my family are." She continues, "I don't really have a problem with it if she has sex when she's 15, but I don't want her getting pregnant."

I shouldn't be shocked anymore by the things my neighbors say, but I am aghast. I have to ask just to make sure they aren't joking.

These women are abdicating their role as parents while their children are still in preschool. I wonder if they are even aware of what they are doing. It's echoe…

This weeks Wedded Bliss post is up. It's all about how the attitude we choose affects our marriage. And it has a picture of an evil kitten.

I've got another post in the works for later today, inspired by shocking conversations with my neighbors. So come back later to see if it's up. Ya know, if you have nothing better to do.

You know, sometimes there are things that I choose to give thanks for, even if I don't feel particularly thankful for it. Often the choice to give thanks in spite of my feelings is all that it takes to tip the balance in my heart toward genuine gratitude.

For example, the one gallon bag of Polly Pocket toys that a friend's daughter unloaded on the Girl last week. There are tiny little plastic shoes all over my house now and there have been the inevitable siblings fights over various tiny little plastic doll dresses. But, they have been entertained by these things for hours, on rainy days. They are using their imaginations, they are cooperating, and it is one more thing that they will remember and enjoy the memory of that I didn't have to buy for them. And they don't take up very much space when we put them away. What's not to be thankful for?

Also this week...

The Genius Husband complimenting me several times a day. [me like, a lot]

The first cherry blossoms are starti…

It was one of those kisses that is so good I can forget everything else. Only vaguely aware of the meal simmering away on the stove top, or the toddler pulling at the back of my sweater screaming, I kissed him back ardently.

And then the voice of the Boy broke in. "You suck daddy, you suck at kissing. That's not how you should kiss. Stop kissing mommy like that."

And then we dissolved into laughter, until my breath was taken away for an entirely different reason.

Boys!

The gifts they keep coming. Too fast for me to even catch and record them all. Mine is a life filled with endless bounty.

Whether I pause to notice them or not, the gifts always flow and flood in the spaces around what I think is important. And so I"m trying to catch a few. To hold them appreciatively as I rush about my life.

The smell of sea air on the breeze, just faint enough to cause me to breath deep to identify it.

Scent of rain on damp concrete.

A two year old trying to belly dance.

The sound of the Girl singing to herself from the back seat.

Time with friends.

A husband who is humble.

Learning how to motivate the Boy so that he feels that I believe he is capable instead of "helping" in a way that accidentally tears him down.

Warm tea while snuggled against the damp cold.

The pleasure of intelligent conversation.

Quiet evenings at home after all the kids are asleep.

A phone call from my best friend in China.

Peace in the middle of so many overwhelming things.

The gratitude com…

Here's the thing about going out on dates with your husband infrequently. You kind of get out of practice.

Take this Sunday for example. We decided that it would be a perfect plan to hit a matinee for a movie first and then go for dinner. That way we would be home for bedtime, and there would be no lines because it was super bowl Sunday. Well, there were no lines that's for sure. There also wasn't anything open when it was time to eat. Our city has this cute little old town downtown section, with art galleries and restaurants and wine bars. It's very close to the local movie theatre. So all week I was envisioning a romantic evening at one of the little French restaurants perhaps, with the patio lights and topiaries that I see during the week when the kids and I walk to the farmer's market.

After we watched the movie-Taken, it was really good-we headed over to the street where I wanted to eat. And we encountered a ghost town. It turns out that, well, Sunday night isn&…

This week's gifts, just a few.

Three hours with my Girl, walking to a coffee shop together, her buying me tea with money the Genius Husband gave her for the occasion, the time spent together.

Doing it all again the next day with the Boy.

The GH rearranging his schedule to facilitate yet another mommy and child outing.

My kids rocking out in the car to the songs on the radio. The Girl memorizing her aunties singing into a hairbrush to a CCR song and imitating it ever since, Little with all the shoulder and arm moves and the Boy head banging in the back. Pure fun.

We passed a sign holder on the corner near the GH's grandparent's house Saturday. A middle-aged gentleman in white tennis wear, complete with head band, and personal listening device firmly installed in ears. He was getting down in a way I have never seen a middle aged white guy get down ever before. There was hip swiveling and gyrating and I think I even saw a moon walk. I haven't seen anyone that age enjoying them…