7 Quick Takes (Episode 4?)
1.)I've been thinking about why a person's self esteem seems to plummet when their weight goes up. Perhaps I am thinking about it because when I wasn't looking I gained at least 10 pounds, in each thigh. At least, that's what it feels like. Getting dressed is depressing. I can still get my pants done up, but they don't look so cute right now, and they aren't that comfortable anymore either. Buying pants in bigger sizes is, well, defeating, not to mention impossible since they are all skinny in the thighs, and by the time I find a pair that don't feel too tight in the thigh area, the waist is hanging below my bottom. I'm inclined to just give up and wear my yoga pants every day until I've got my old body back. Which I am working on BTW. With the exception of honey in my tea to soothe my throat, I've not had any sugar since Ash Wednesday. [Yes, it's a Lent thing. See #2]
Here's why I think that a person's self esteem is affected by weight gain. I don't think it's solely because of their appearance, though that can be depressing. I don't believe most of us are really as shallow as that, though we may think we are. I think it has to do with the fact that weight gain, the kind where you do it to yourself, is a indicator of lack of self control. I think that the depression and low feelings that come from looking in the mirror are more from the feeling of being out of control, of knowing that there is no personal discipline in this area and it shows.
Not to say that I am feelings all of those things to any great extent, but I read blog friends who are really struggling with this, and trying to understand why it's so hard. My own small experience makes me wonder if much of our modern depression stems from this awareness of our perceived inability to master our own wills, to overcome our own appetites.
Hmmm, come to think of it. This is kind of a reoccurring theme in Bible isn't it?
2.) It took practicing Jewish feast days for 3 years or so before Lent finally made sense to me. I've never observed Lent before, I could never figure out what purpose it served in our spiritual life. And since I'm not part of a denomination that observes the traditional church calendar in anyway, I didn't really think about it. And then celebrating Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanna I discovered this 40 day period of fasting,contrition and reconciliation that was to precede Yom Kippur (The Day of Atonement). Well, In my experience there was always a benefit to what God told His people to do back then, often a benefit that remains today. [For instance, an opportunity to get our appetites back under control.] And then a year or two later I sort of got that, well, for Christians, Good Friday is our once and forever day of atonement. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice that forever removes the burden of sin. So fasting before Good Friday made sense in that respect too. Along with this is Rosh Hashanna, the Jewish New Year, also the day of blowing the trumpets and celebrating God as King of the Earth. It happens 10 days before Yom Kippur. Interesting, since Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and was greeted as a king only a short 7 days before Good Friday. It's like He did it on purpose, and the early church understood it, how He fulfilled all the feast days at once. And that's why they worked a remembrance of them into church practise. I am yet again a nerd for finding these sorts of things fascinating. Sorry to bore you to tears.
And if you are Jewish, please don't hate me. I'm not trying to offend, though I know there is a lot of potential to offend in what I just said.
3.)My FIL used to say, about every second sermon, "Coming to Jesus means coming to a place where you are loved and accepted as you are, and then you are given the power to change." I keep thinking about it in connection with #1.
4.) So how do you all feel about my blogging more about faith? I'm not really sure who is reading? It's not something I do often, because I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to shove my faith down their throat. But the discussion over at Lindsey's blog has me thinking. She says at one point that though she is a Christan, she's not a stereotypical Christian blogger. She feels that to try to be so would be an inauthentic representation of her self and where she's at. It has me thinking that perhaps for me to avoid discussing it most of the time is just as inauthentic because it's something I think about every day, it's a deep part of me. I really enjoy a good theological discussion. Discuss?
5.)Another idea that I think is original to me, but someone else much smarter probably said once. No decision originates in a vacuum. It is the sum total of all the decisions leading up to it. Every single decision I make, however minor, strengthens one part of me, or another. The decision to have a second piece of cake, "Oh go ahead, it's only the neighbor kid's birthday once a year." is a decision that makes it even easier to choose to overindulge next time. Whereas even one single decision, in the opposite direction, strengthens me to make another decision like it the next time it's presented. Just saying, "No thank-you, I won't have cake." and then not having any, not even a little taste, makes saying no the next time an easier thing to do. This of course applies in many other areas, but I obviously have cake on the brain, what with two birthday parties tomorrow.
6.) Can I just say how much I HATE daylight savings time? I think it is an evil plot concocted by minions of evil. "Bwahahahah, look at them, none of them has had a decent sleep all week. Look at those children, they have no idea how to adjust. Oh, look at her, look how behind she is right now. Look how stressed to realize that she's got an hour less than she thought she did, bwahahahahaha." Someone make the madness stop. Can't we strike? Protest? Do something to stop complying with this no longer necessary insanity en mass? Anyone?
7.)One of life's most difficult questions is how much of it do you just let go. When you see something wrong, something tragic, and there are so many, how do you choose what to invest your time and energy in trying to change? We cant' all change it all. But each of us can have some influence, how do we use it? I'm sure much of it has to do with where our strengths lie. I'm not a doctor, so if I see an accident I'm not the best person to be there taking care of injured. I would do it if there was no one else, but there are many better qualified. On the other hand, if I saw the accident I could easily fill out a witness report, or take the victim's family a casserole, I have the skills necessary to do that.
I'm carrying in my heart so many things that are wrong and sad and need to be changed beyond my little corner, and my little project. And I believe that what we are doing to help these kids, and their tribes, and communities is very worthwhile. But I know there are so many other needs out there. It's hard to know whether to just shut the door to knowing as much about some of them, so I can keep functioning, or if I should stay aware, even though I can do very little. Well, I can pray. And I do believe that's more than a little. Perhaps I just answered my own question.
More 7 Quick Takes here.