She Laughs at the Days

Well, I have a respiratory illness anyway. Have had since Sunday. My condition seems to be improving however so I won't be one of the panicked people spreading their germs around while sitting in the doctor's office. Also, I can't smell very much, and I also don't seem to be sick at all either. I'm thinking the two are related. And I would rather be snotty than puking so...

Here's a list of thoughts on the subject.

1. Interesting that there is suddenly a "pandemic" (only no one has died and few are sick in the US) during which the nomination of Sebelius (opposed by many Americans) is pushed through and confirmed in a rush so the CDC can have someone to "handle the CRISIS". Call me a cynic, but there seem to have been a lot of crisis these past hundred days that push major policy change.

2. The people dying of swine flu are dying from severe pneumonia complications that arise. Mexico city has very poor air quality, and lots of poor people with c…

During what I now refer to as the great computer death of 2009, which is an ongoing saga of not having my own working computer anymore, Beck tagged me for the Around the World meme started by "Her Bad Mother and her friend David". And since I heart Beck, and I can actually think of something to say about this meme, I'm going to participate.

I'm supposed to list my 5 favorite things about being a mom.

1.) That moment in the middle of the night when they wake up in a panic and I can soothe them back to sleep with just a touch and a comforting murmur of assurance. I love the way my hand on their back or the sound of my voice has the power to make everything all right for them again when they are little.

2.) Watching a child discover or do something for the first time. Sometimes there are moments, just sitting on the floor with them watching them stack blocks, or make pretend food for me to sample in play dishes, or write their name for the first time, that I am so aware a…

I really need to put something new up, that other post has been there over a week. Unfortunately, I'm right now camped out next to an open window, on a mercifully cool day sucking in the smell of fresh air and flowers and trees. It smells wonderful, and mostly it keeps me from retching at the scent of, say, my daughter's juice, or leftover breakfast. Yes, the nausea is here, and my stomach hurts. It woke me up in the middle of the night even last night.

So it's hard to think of what to write about.

I read The Kite Runner on Monday. It helped take my mind off my stomach. It's a stunning, stunning book. I rarely ever sit down to read a novel these days because I find it very hard to stop once I start. Somehow on Monday I managed to tidy the house, fold and put away all the laundry, teach school, take the kids swimming, make dinner, and read an entire novel. I can never figure out how that happened the next day.

I have the world's sweetest children.

While I was in the sho…

I'm washing dishes and start humming the haunting melody of a familiar song. The harmonies I hear in my head as I sing it are beautiful and complex, it's a song from my choir days in high school. As much as I enjoy the tune that often comes unbidden to my lips, the singing of it is always slightly bitter, a memory I'm unable to shake, to forget.

It's a Tuesday in May, my senior year in high school, I've been away for the long weekend. At lunch I go to the choir room for practice. Every year, every choir grad, no matter how good or bad a singer they are, sings a song with the others at graduation. As I walk in the girl leading the rehearsal glares at me. "You can't sing with us," she says, "you missed the first rehearsal, we already assigned parts."

I gape, wordless, undone by her tone. "I was out of town," I respond.

Helpless I gaze around the room looking for an ally. The teacher is away. My friends arranged on the risers silently av…

Terribly, tragically, sadly, alas... my computer is kaput. The day I woke up thinking whoa, this thing is really going downhill fast I should back some stuff up, is the day it no longer responded to any kind of stimulus whatsoever. I'm praying I can get back all my work when we go to visit the expert people. And all my pictures for the last three years.

I'm making time with the GH's laptop while he's at work. It's the only time possible really, when he doesn't take it with him. I can't even use it while he's sleeping. The man listens to audio books to help him fall asleep. Once I thought he was asleep and tried to sneak it away, or just turn down the volume, but he woke up as soon as my hand touched it and in a sleepy bewildered voice demanded to know what I was doing with his computer.

So, hello best beloveds, we are reunited for a brief moment.

Last week, my mother was here, which was a great help in many ways. It's been a long time since the kids sa…

That's how I am, in case you were wondering. Usually at the same time. My dad asked yesterday, when I told him I wasn't puking yet, if it was possible that the pregnancy test was wrong. To which I replied, "NO! Well, yes, it is possible. However, since I have all of the other symptoms of being pregnant to catalogue, I don't think it's very likely." [Catalogue is too spelled that way, just ask the British, or a Canadian.]

The nicknaming of this child while in utero has become a full contact sport around here. My SIL's are voting for Schmidty the Sequel. I find it hard to believe that anyone has been reading long enough to remember that so I'll recap. Schmidty was the abbreviation of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, which came from the Boy being convinced every week I was pregnant with Little that we need to name the child John, or Jacob, or John, or maybe, Jacob. I'm not sure what he'll do if this is another girl.

We named the first two Twinklet…

At the top of the list, of course, the baby we hope to meet in November.The Girl bending over and kissing my belly while I read to her, and then smiling shyly and saying, "I just gave the baby a kiss."The Boy dancing around the playground yelling, "My mom's going to have a baby, my mom's having a baby."The GH stopping one morning to hold me close for a really long time and say, "Just in case there is any question in your mind, I'm stoked to be having another child."The prayers and well wishes of friends, family, and readers I have never met.Not vomiting yet.No more trying to control the ravenous hunger that hits just before bedtime. It all makes sense now. I can have a snack.Grapefruit! Can pregnant woman live on grapefruit alone? I would like to find out.
Walks alone in the evening after the kids are asleep. The air smells good, and it feels good to remember that my body can move like this, is strong, and can go quickly when not weighted down …