She Laughs at the Days

Sometimes blogging can be embarrassing. I write stuff, I put it up there, and then I move on and forget about it. A year passes, maybe 2, and someone is reading through my archives and there it is.

Like this post here. A Tale of Two Childless People

You see, after I wrote that post we became friends with these people. We really like them. We had them over for dinner. They are expecting their first child now and she found this post, which was really unflattering to her, and apologized for being such a horrible neighbor, which was really gracious, because she wasn't that bad.

After I went and read it again I apologized for the way I portrayed her in it before I got to know her.

So y'all. I just want you to know that the people in that post are actually very lovely people and I think they will make wonderful parents. I couldn't be more excited for them.

Mmm these toes are tasty.

Sometimes it sinks me, how I miss it when it's right in front of my face. I trade task for person again and again and service goes unseen because it misses the person where they need most.

I am 16 again at my grandparents table. Seeing, for the first time, the love that misses behind the veil that is their daily exchange.

"We need some butter here," my grandfather says.

Grandma rises half out of her seat to fill the need but he yells at her, as he always does, "Sit down Netty, let someone else get it for a change. You sit down and enjoy your dinner. You worked hard making it, you shouldn't be on your feet all day..."

I love you. I want you near me. I'm trying to show my care for you, how thankful I am for the work you do, by demanding that you relax.

He never moves to get it.  Not once, in all my life, have I seen that man rise from the table to get what he wants after saying that.

"I'll get it mom." An aunt hastily rises, rushing to smooth …

I'm loving quick takes this week as a place to wrap up all those odds and ends that I keep meaning to follow through on and haven't yet.

1. My friend Megan made us a birth announcement for jellybean.

Then, 'cause she knows me well, she made another that I could post here.


I'm in love with this boy I tell you. In love.

Megan is the whiz friend who helped get me packed and ready to move at lightening speed. Her husband just deployed to Afghanistan a few weeks ago. He'll be gone 13 months. It keeps me from whining about Aaron's short trips to Thailand.

Check out her website here.

2. Did I ever show you a photo of the truck you all helped us fund raise for, for the Charis Home?

Thanks to the awesomeness of the internets we were able to raise enough to buy a truck for the orphanage we support through the charis project. (That website is so old. So many volunteers have started to upgrade it for us, and never finish. Sigh. I would do it if I knew anything about codi…

It's amazing how quickly I forget.

Less than 9 months ago I wept in the shower, so no one could hear me, and I told the baby in my belly that I loved him, even though I was sure he wouldn't be there much longer, could already be gone.

I said my goodbyes, because I didn't think I would get a chance to say any hellos. I'm "always" horribly ill for the first three months of a pregnancy. The only time I hadn't been was with Shiloh, and I miscarried at 12 weeks.

This time I was barely nauseous, threw up only once or twice, and then it started to subside. Long before the 3 month mark the illness went away and I felt good, normal, not pregnant at all, and so I cried and braced myself for the worst.

Christmas came and family full of well wishes and I smiled wanly and answered politely the congratulatory comments. I kept my fear a secret from everyone but Aaron, but I could not rejoice and could not hope. I avoided making any plans for my birthday for fear that I…

I don't miss him during the days, he's rarely ever here during the day anyway. But I do miss him at night. That's when the kids start whining, "I really wish daddy was home."

Evenings are when the house seems so empty and lonely.

He called yesterday. I didn't even know his Thai cellphone could bridge the distance and reach me here. It was morning there, as I figured out what to make for dinner.

There's a big group of people with him from some local churches in San Diego. They are spending 3 days at the Charis Home with the children. They brought gifts and supplies and are spending time loving and taking care of our kids there.


He cried on the phone as he said, "I wish you could be here to see this, all these people loving on our kids. It's amazing to watch, and it's because of your faithfulness over the past few years with all of the administrative work that this is happening right now, that any of this has been possible. We haven't …

While I was at a friend's house a few weeks ago Jellybean woke and needed to nurse. So I started moving things around to accommodate him while her 2 year old, already enamored with the tiny baby in her home, watched eagerly to see what I was doing. Looking at her wide little eyes I explained that he was hungry and that I needed to give him some milk and that my breasts made milk for him to drink. That was when her mom, who breastfed also, looked up and realized, "You've never seen another baby nurse before!"

She came over to the couch and held her on her lap while she watch Jellybean latch on and nurse. We explained that she used to get milk the same way when she was little. The rest of the afternoon she followed me around and asked repeatedly, "Milk? Baby milk?"

It was obvious that the moment made a lasting impression on her.

It reminded me of something that I once consciously chose to do but is now second nature. I chose never to hide breastfeeding from …

So I hear there's this big kerfuffle going on that's marring the 9/11 memorials this year. Something about a mosque in New York, and a pastor in Florida and the planned desecration of someone's holy book?

Have we all gone crazy?

Remember 10 years ago? First there was shock, then horror, and then people came together in the face of it, selflessly giving to those who had need by those who could . Remember that?

Now it seems we're all afraid of Muslims. I wonder how many people going crazy actually know any Muslims personally. I would guess that very few do. Because if they did, they would see that they are just people, just like me, or you.

My little sister is married to a Muslim. I don't know him as well as I would like, them living in Canada and all, but I can tell you this. He's a good husband, a devoted father. He's thoughtful and intellectual and funny. He is a unique individual. He isn't a Sunni or a Shiite. In fact his sect of Islam isn't comm…

They will spend hours making paper money...


They will make a store in your living room...



and they will have fun for a very, very long time.


Thanks Barb for the cash register.

It's been hard to find time to write lately. I'm trying to organize our new school schedule, Aaron leaves again for Thailand tomorrow, we finally finished all the unpacking, we had a baby shower, oh yeah, and I have a newborn. Though, truthfully, he is the most chill baby ever. I just put him down on the bed a while ago, because I needed to go to the bathroom, and then I wandered off and got busy and literally forgot about him lying there in the bedroom. He didn't make a sound. When I remembered he was in there I thought he must have surely fallen asleep, but no, he was just looking around at stuff, wide awake. So I left him there a while longer and got stuff done.

Anyway, my fabulous friend Shannon organized other fabulous friends and family to help out and throw a baby shower last weekend. Here are some photos. And you sort of get  to see our new house in it as well. (There dad, yah happy? I tell you, once your parents find out about your blog they get so demanding, esp…