The other day the Girl found an empty popsicle mold and after trying for a while to get me to make her some, she resorted to pretending to eat popsicles that she pretended to make. While I cleaned up after lunch, she happily offered us pretend popsicles and then watched us like a hawk to make sure that we ate them and they didn’t get discarded on the rug and make a mess. Okay I’m making that last part up, she’s two, she doesn’t care if imaginary popsicles melt into the carpet leaving permanent red stains, just that we are playing along.
“Here momma, popsico.”
I pretend to take it from her outstretched hands. My hands must always touch her hands or I haven’t really taken it from her yet. “Oh thank-you,” I say and go back to wiping.
“NO MOMMA, EAT IT!”
I obediently make the appropriate slurping sounds into my hand. She and the Boy giggle and eat their pretend popsicles while I enjoy the bliss of a moment’s peace after a morning of needy, pants grabbing, whining.
“Mommy I’m hungry, I want yogurt, mommy I’m hungreee I want yoooguuurrrrt, mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt, mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt mommyi’mhungryiwantyogurt,
MOMMY GIVE ME YOGURT, MOMMY I WANT YOGURT MOMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
The muscles in my neck and shoulders have just started to relax and I am smiling and enjoying my kids again when the strangest thing starts to happen. In a fit of four year old big brother mischief, the Boy grabs one of the pretend popsicles from the tray his sister is proudly holding, runs just out of reach and wolfs it down with big loud growling bites. She shrieks and cries completely undone by this cowardly act of thievery. Needless to say, this kind of reaction is all the encouragement he needs and he continues to sneak by her and take popsicle after popsicle from her tray as she gets more and more upset.
“I EATING it.”
“NO IT”S MY POPSICLE!!!”
“NO MINE!!!!! MOMMY….”
She comes running to me with tears streaking down her little face, forehead crinkled in wrath. (Beware the wrath of a beautiful little blond haired blue-eyed angel of a girl. When the forehead furrows, you will be struck down. Especially if you laugh at how fierce she manages to look.)
“Boy stop pretending to take the popsicles from your sister she doesn’t like it.”
“But why mom? Why should I?”
“Because you are not being kind to your sister, she doesn’t like it?”
“But I was just wanting to take it from her.”
“I know you were but she doesn’t like it. You are making her cry.”
Grabbing another popsicle, bringing on a new chorus of screams, he throws himself into the chair and says, with his back to me, “But WHY MOM, I just wanted it.”
“Do you like it when people do things that make you sad?”
“You do? I thought you didn’t like it.”
“No I don’t like it.”
“Do you want to make your sister sad?”
“Well stop it.”
“But why should I mom?”
“Because I said so.”
“Because you obey mommy”
“Why can’t I mom?”
“Because it’s wrong to make someone sad on purpose.”
“BECAUSE I SAID SO, NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND LEAVE HER ALONE.”
The Girl sweetly follows him and offers him another popsicle….
Repeat above scene 10 more times with slight variations
I found your site from your most recent post about racism… I liked your writing so I looked around for earlier posts. This one especially funny to me as I can TOTALLY picture this scenario in my household! I have an almost 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 7 month old… all boys though. But its so funny how the second one looks up too and adores the older sibling, whilst the older sibling never stops trying to find new ways to antagonize!!