Misha has been doing small joys Fridays, which were started by crafty momma. I decided to participate this week, mainly because all of these things have been kicking around inside my brain and small joys Friday seemed like the perfect setting for them.
You know how laughter changes a person’s face? My normally stunning little girl becomes completely radiant when she starts to laugh. Her face glows and she is impossible to look away from, or to keep from smiling in response. I see perfect strangers forget themselves and come to a stand still when this girl laughs like that, in the middle of Target. And the sound is one of the most delicious in the entire world; it’s deep and contagious waves of joy that roll from her belly. Someday maybe I’ll finally get a picture of this, or manage to record it.
My friend moved to Connecticut and left her piano behind in my living room after deciding it wouldn’t survive a trip across the continent through several elevations, temperatures, and climates. In a different life, before children, I spent the greater part of my day practicing and playing on this instrument, and teaching other people how to play. It’s like an old friend that has returned to comfort me, and listens responsively as I tell it all my secrets. The instant response from a familiar instrument is like meditation for my perfectionist, control freakazoid soul. It brings me back to a place of peace. It’s also been very sweet to begin teaching the boy to play, and to listen. He found his first tune by ear this week, it was Bob the Builder, but what the heck, the point is that the child has a musical ear. This is going to be fun.
The baby is 28 weeks now, and carrying very low, which means that I can still breath. This is good. It’s also good to feel the very forceful gymnastics practice that takes place all day, even if my cervix is the springboard. I will never get used to the feeling of suddenly being kicked between the legs, from the inside. It’s a surprise every time.
The evening are cooler now, and I have a pashmina shawl that I love to wear over my bare arms when it cools off. (I got it in Vancouver for $20 from a direct import store, wool and silk blend so it’s warm and light.) I really like this shawl. What I like better is my Boy coming to me where I sit and giving me a hug, and then, very carefully, rearranging my shawl so that it covers me again so that I’ll stay warm.
Sometimes my children stop what they are doing and spontaneously give each other hugs and kisses, smiling into each other’s eyes as they do it.
I am so glad that the Boy likes his schoolwork, and learning. He congratulates himself on every task completed. (Not like his mommy at all hey Teresa? 😉 There is something so beautiful about his genuine pleasure in doing something well and his satisfaction at finishing a task that my heart fills to see it. For him learning is an innocent pleasure. I hope it stays that way. It was also an unexpected gift when the Genius husband came home for a minute or two in the afternoon, and had the time to explain how grids work to him when he was confused, and he got it. Why does it make mothers so happy to see their children happy with their father?
I’m no longer constantly ravenous. Food is something I can start to enjoy again, instead of panic over.
My hips haven’t been bothering me very much yet.
I also inherited a treadmill from the GH’s grandmother. (No she’s not dead, just moving.) Now I can exercise, for real, while my children are awake! I have been very frustrated this pregnancy at how difficult it has been to stay active, I don’t like to approach labor out of shape, the baby gets more oxygen if I exercise moderately every day, and most importantly, I need exercise endorphins to stay sane and balance my brain chemistry. Seriously, it was exercise that pulled me out of PPD after the Girl was born. And look, I’ve been walking a mile each day this week, without needing to get my children dressed and drag them with me and listen to them whine that they’re tired the whole way, while they ride in the stroller, and now I have this list of things to write for small joys Friday. It’s making a difference already.