3 months

Well sweet baby, your three month letter is hard to write with you mid growth spurt and nursing constantly, and crying when I put you down. You no longer sleep through anything, loud noises now startle you awake. That means mommy is not able to watch a show and get you to sleep at the same time. Sigh.

You are such a bright girl. We love it when you smile and talk to us, which you want us to do all the time. Everytime one of us stops to pay attention to you we are rewarded with big smiles and your attempts at conversation. You love to chat, you will spend hours just talking to me only fussing if I walk away. Even tired and hungry you will smile at me if I make eye contact with you. You are indescribably sweet.

With your ears sticking out from your head like that, and your big blue eyes that look like they will pop right out if you open them any wider you look like a little elf, an elf that does Kung-fu. You thrash your arms and feet around like you are practicing some ancient form of martial art and are getting ready to give the gerber baby a good thrashing. You have at last perfected the move that involves grasping a wayward hand with the other and pulling it toward your mouth where you proceed to attack it with all the ferocity your toothless gums can muster, drowning it in drool. Soon you will be able to use this technique on everything within reach and nothing will be safe from the drool monster.

You laugh now, and you like to be tickled. You love your swing and exclaim excitedly over and over again when we put you in it. You have people amazed at how strong your neck is, you can hold your head up indefinitely now which is a definite advantage to one who likes to look around as much as you.

Can I tell you a secret? You are so wonderful that I want to do it all again. The thought of another baby actually excites me, and that’s saying a lot considering how difficult I found the 9 months you were inside me. You are worth every single moment of discomfort, sadness, and depression that I went through before you arrived. It’s hard to explain how your presence here has blessed me, has blessed all of us, and yet I know, I carry the conviction within my heart and body that you have changed me, changed us, for the better by being here. It’s almost as though the feeling of peace and surrender that I experienced during your birth has stayed with me through these past three months, and I am not fighting to be anything other than your mother anymore. Somehow the internal struggle I live with has stilled for a time and I find myself content with life as it stands and that is a rare gift that spills joy into everything else.

I love you Baby, I look forward to the many days to come.

all content © Carrien Blue

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