We had a routine once, and it’s still there. At least, the bones remain. Things still get done but there are gaps where once there was more.

It was maybe too full then, definitely too full now given my energy level, and it’s good to let somethings fall right now. They can be picked up again later.

But others I have lost and regret. As the fog of exhaustion clears for a moment I remember I used to pray more. I used to sing more. I didn’t forget so often to do things that still need doing. I wrote more too.

I need a new routine. Not what we had, but more than the bare bones we have now.

I’m going to try this week to do that. I don’t know how much I’ll be here as a result.

all content © Carrien Blue

2 thoughts on “Skeletal

  1. I keep trying to think of my old routine. have I really been stuck in this exercise-eat struggle for so long that I don't remember what it was like before? how did I operate before? I hope to hear good news from you and hope the best for you

  2. Every time I visit I feel like I'm ready poetry, or an American classic that has stood the test of time. I j'adore your writing voice!

    I've been feeling the same lately. I look back to what I once was or did and think, "What happened to me? When did I stop {fill in the blank}?" It's a slow, and sometimes sneaky, process. We don't even realize it has happened until there we are a shadow of what we once were.

    And now we can be sisters in routine hunting. I was writing out a schedule for the coming school year, trying desperately to fit everything in… it just doesn't look good on paper. 2pm Stop to breathe 3:27 Remember to smile… {sigh}

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