I love my Granny swimsuit from Walmart. What does that say about me?

This picture makes me laugh

The last thing I was expecting when I walked into Walmart was to buy a swimsuit. Return a pair of shoes, perhaps a new package of underwear, some floss picks, maybe, but definitely not a swimsuit engineered with the older woman in mind.

Yet there it was, in all it’s floral glory, hanging there on the end display and I WAS going swimming the next day…

It’s always been a struggle for me to find swimwear that offers the right kind of support in the right places on the kind of budget that I have to work with. I generally end up wearing a nylon sport bra underneath a swim tank I bought off a clearance rack somewhere and running shorts. In fact, that has been my swim ensemble for several years now. Every so often I try wearing different swim top but however cute it is, it fails to do a good enough job of corralling the girls as I keep toddlers afloat in the pool and feed them snacks and chase them down. I always go back to the sport bra ensemble, which leads to really bad tan lines by the way.

This suit looked like it would keep everything in place, and cover all the things I’d rather have covered, and maybe even flatter this still slightly lumpy postpartum shape of mine.

It has pleats around the bodice, straightforward straps, a short little skirt that falls just below the hip line and, oh happy day, an under layer that actually covers my whole butt and makes it so that extreme shaving measures are not required. So I tried it on. (The kids were with their dad for the day, that never happens.)

I have never once purchased the first thing I tried on, ever. But I’m telling you it was almost as if the heavens opened and an angel chorus sang that’s how much I liked what that suit looked like on me. It was cute, it was flattering, it kept the girls in a properly covered yet elevated place. You have no idea how hard it is to find a suit that can do that. Best of all it skimmed over the bit of paunchiness that remains in my belly and lets me deceive myself that my thighs are doing alright, stretchmarks not withstanding.

I wore it the next day. I shall be wearing it all summer. I think I look good in it.

At the back of my mind though is this dawning awareness that I just purchased the kind of swimsuit that I see somewhat elderly women wearing quite often. Now I know why.

If I should happen to see an older woman in the same mass produced granny swimsuit this summer that I am sporting I may just have to high five her and yell, “Yeah, the girls are staying put. I know your secret now.”

Yeah, this is as close as you will get to seeing me model a swimsuit for the internets. Cute no?
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